Yo-Yo

So lately things have been a regular yoyo. Great days, followed by crazy days. The crazy is all the ex. I was so happy and excited last saturday. After a few msgs back and forth where I continued (yet again) to try and hammer home the fact that I will never take him back, well I think it sunk in. He agreed to a divorce. Of course it was a bloody weekend, no lawyer or court house available to run to and fill out and sign on the dotted line. But I was floating on a temporary high the rest of the day. In fact I had to attend a family wedding which I hadnt been looking forward to. But I went with a friend which was nice. Until I got there and family from all over had drove/flew in. I proceeded to hear from people I hadnt seen in dozens of years about how they hated my husband, they were so happy I had gotten rid of him. Then there were the family who didnt realize my friend was not my husband. Some of them said it was nice to meet the man I married, which I correctly explained no- just a friend. Others went up to him ready to behin beating him, believing he was the Hubby. Needless to say it was an eventfull night. My friend had quite the experiance, but he survived.

The following day was even better, had a great walk thru amazing walking trails and gardens. Crap- life was going great. But it had to end sometime. The ex called me the following day at work. Hysterical, screaming and crying and threatening. Off the wall crazy. He kept telling me he knew that I loved him. I kept denying it. I havent loved him in forever. Eventually he tried laying all blame at my feet, at this point I could have cared less. If it would shut him up and make him go away, then Id gladly except the guilt for everything including nuclear war and global warming. Im hoping tomorrow I will have time to make a few calls and see about the divorce papers, somehow get him to sign them. I want all ties cut. What I really want is for him to seek medical help. I truly, really feel he is mentally unbalanced and may be a danger to hisself, definetly to others- especially me.

Last night I once again managed to have some fun and enjoy life. Having great friends makes such a difference. Im looking forward to more great days and I hope that once I get the divorce maybe things may even out a bit more. Im slowly getting more confidence in myself and feeling great. Slowly working a few work outs in every week and apparently smiling alot more, so many people have complemented me. Life is getting better. I was broken down so badly, but Im building myself back up.