Its so heartbreaking and concerning when my kids go to their fathers. Its not just because they will be gone. Its because of how upset they are when they leave. At how they beg me to let them stay with me, how they go on and on about how they dont want to go to their dads. I gently ask why and am given a list of reasons. None are much to be worried about, a few are upseting but none really touch base on their safety, so there is nothing I can do. The fact that he doesnt do anything with them, that he ignores them while he talks and texts and FBs with his girlfriends, or that he naps or that he shoves them off on his family to watch, well despite that, what can I do? Ive repeatedly asked for my right to babysit them when he decides he doesnt want to be there during his visitation. But he wont let me.
Ive had enough and requested a meeting with the mediator. Bringing in my several months of screenshots of texts and fb msgs and call logs. Bringing in records of how he isnt present during his visitation, bringing in proof how he leaves the kids at his mothers office where our custody order says they cant be. Proof of how he has them in the presence of people that our custody order says not too. But Ive seen how the courts work, how these long drawn out cases dont amount to anything but bills. How it takes a tragic event for our local judges to finally do whats right. I have a feeling its going to be a long visit in hell while I try to fight for my kids safety.
My babies just left for his visit. My youngest staring sadly back at me with tears running down her cheeks. Her sad cry of "Mommy" and his snarky "hurry up" as she drags her feet to his car. I just want to scream. This is so unfair. This tears my heart up. Im now left in this empty house with just my fears. Waiting for these next couple days to pass swiftly so I can watch them burst out of his car and run screaming into my arms. So they can kiss and hug me and shout how much they missed me and are so happy to be home.
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