Goodbye. Hello. Peace.

I faced Him the other day during mediation regarding custody changes. A few slight things were changed just to make it easier for both of us and for the kids. It went well. Until afterwards he confronted me and told me he loved me and that he had made a mistake. But its too late, it was too late years ago. I told him all we can do is move forward with our lives and learn to communicate and get along for the childrens sakes. Coparent seperatly. Because We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.

I had the talk with the kids about how its ok for their father to date. How they have the right to like his girlfriend, or form whatever opionion they want to. But how they should base it on how that person is. All that matters is that his girlfriend treats them right. I asked them how they felt when they have met his girlfriends, how if they were upset by it or happy by it. We discussed everything they wanted to. And I feel it went well. I even broached the same subject but geared towards me and a boyfriend. How they would feel. In the spirit of childrens innocence their only concern was if I would kiss a boyfriend in front of them, because kissing is icky. I laughed and they laughed and Im hoping Im going about things the right way. My kids are my main concern and I dont want to mess anything up.

So in all honesty I have met someone. I cant put my feelings into words at this time. I worry that its too soon. Have I healed enough to put myself back out there? Am I doing a diservice to this guy by seeing him at this point in my life? And thanks to the crap the ex put me thru- Am I good enough for him? And you know what. I am. In fact Im pretty damn amazing. And this guy. Well he is beyond amazing. No ones perfect, but we maybe perfect for eachother. He understands how fragile I am. He accepts the fact that Im scared and cautious. He is willing to stand by me and offer a hand if I need it, or just words and when its needed/when its wanted, open arms to hold me. When I think about him I smile. When I recieve a text from him Im like a giddy teenager. And when Im next to him a peace falls over me. But we are simliar in a lot of things. Were both so shy and nervous around one another. All I can do is be who I am. And right now, Im a woman who is tentively putting her heart back out there and at this moment someone is slowly stealing it and hopefully putting it into safekeeping.