Tired

Im tired. Im tired of being targetted just because of him. So many people hate him and for some reason he gets away with everything, so they then turn their anger onto me. Making up awful evil things and attacking me and my kids. Ive lived with this for a near decade. Just because I was connected to him, they wanted to hurt me. And hurt me they did. The most horrifying untrue awful things possible I was accused of. It didnt matter that I could provide proof that it wasnt me. Nothing I could do mattered. I fought against it so long and never could get anyone to care about the truth, just the sensational part about it made it happen. Eventually I gave up and just "walked" away from it mentally/physically/emotionally. Though emotionally I still cry over it all. I know Im innocent and I know what really happened and it kills me that parts of it are still happening, but Im not involved anymore and they cant blame me for it, and without an easy scapegoat it goes on unnoticed.

I admit to something that is awful. At times the pressure/stress from all of that gets to me and I think to myself, because of him I will always be a target by others. And nothing I do will ever get me away from it. So the awful thing I do is, I wish I could give up and not exist anymore. Then I wouldnt have to deal with being such an easy target. How is that fair? Because of him I pay a price I dont deserve. The only thing I did that was wrong was becoming involved with him. The bad things I was accused of were him, not me. It didnt matter that I could provide proof that I was miles away when they happened and he was the one right there. So how is it fair and besides that, they attack me for anything and everything. All because I made the mistake of becoming involved with my ex. I paid my price a hundred times over. My ex made sure of that with the abuse. I chose him and in return I lived a emotionally and physically abusive life. But these people who hate him, they want to feel stronger and they enjoy picking on the weaker ones and since they cant bring him down easily, they in turn target me.

Even with me finally being strong enough to escape him and the lie I had to live. even with that I cant get away it seems. These people dont care that they are hurting my children. They dont care about the innocent lives they destroy. They care nothing for anyone but theirselves and what makes them happy. And they want my ex destroyed and in the process they happily will destroy me and my kids for they enjoy hurting as many as they can.