Tonight I'm supposed to sit in a room with him. If he shows up and agrees we can finally sign papers for a divorce. Honestly I am terrified. Not of finally getting what I so desperately want. But of having to be in the same room as him. Him being so close. He has been threatening me again lately. Saying off the wall crazy junk and intimidating me in any way he can. I want the divorce. I want this one extra step of freedom away from him. I wish I could have him 100% out of my life and my kids lives. It sickens me that he is still able to abuse me. It's not physical anymore- though I truly believe if he had the chance he would, it's only emotionally/mentally now.
Why won't he stop? Why won't this end.
Once I had a restraining order against him. And when he found out he became so angry so dangerous I knew that he was gonna kill me and there was nothing I could do to stop him. He gave me two choices. Take the order off and live or he would get me and make me wish I had never been born. And the sad thing is he was telling me the truth. That piece of paper wasnt gonna stop him- what was I gonna do- try to give him a paper it with it, crumple it into a ball and throw it at him as I try to run away?! I looked into his eyes and took the only option I could that would t result in my immediate death or near death. I took off the order. I wish I had an order so I could at least call the cops every time he stalks me. I'm tired of him always appearing whenever I go somewhere. I'm afraid of him. I'm afraid that this game he is playing is gonna cause me to have a break down.
I just want to escape from him
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